TSAKANIN MAZA DA MATA WA YAFI YAUDARA?

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Amsa Daga cikin matsalolin da
samarisuke dashi a tasu soyayyar sun
hada da 1Mata nasan wasunku zasu yi
mamaki idan nace muku
yawancin maza suna yin soyayya ne
kawai ba wai dan sun shirya yin aure
ba, kawai su dai burinsu ace suna da
budurwa ko kuma suna soyayya,
amma batun aure kuwa wannan ba
ma ya gabansu! Abin gasa ne a tsakani
samari cewa wannan yana da
budurwa wancan bashi da ita.
Da mu samari zamu ji shawara to da
sai ince babu amfanin muyi soyayya
da macen da muka san ba aurenta
zamu yi ba kar ma mu tunkareta tun
farko idan musan bamu shiyar yin
aure ba, yana daga cikin dalilan da
yasa ‘yan mata suke tunanin cewa duk
maza mayaudare ne, saboda dama
soyayyar ba’a san ma dalilin
yinta ba, sai lokacin auren nasu na
gaske yazo sai suga cewa wacce suke
soyayyar da ita ba itace suke son aura
ba, sai su koma ga wata ita kuma ta
farkon sai tace an yauda reta Ku kuma
mata shawarar da zan baka anan itace
1 Duk saurayin da yazo muku da
soyayya kuma kuka yaba da halinsa to
ku saurareshi, idan yayi muku bayanin
abinda yazo dashi na game da soyayya
kuma to sai ku nemi ya baku wani dan
lokaci da zaku yi tunani a kansa
Hikimar hakan shine cewa shi zai samu
damar qara bayyanar da soyayyarsa a
lokacin da ku kuma kuke qara
karantar halayensa kuskurene namiji
yatakura mace cewa sai tace tana
sonshi a lokaci daya, sai ka bata lokaci
ta gama karantarka tukuna a
lokacinda kai kuma zaka yi ta qoqarin
nuna
mata jarumtakarka ta ‘da namiji dan
ka saye zuciyarta
2 Sannan idan kuka karbi soyayyarsa
har soyayyar ta fara ginuwa kuma sai
ku fara tattauna batun aure, banga
dalilin da zai sa soyayya tayi tsaho har
zuwa
kamar wata biyu ba ba tare
da an fara maganar aure ba. Zai iya
yiyuwa budurwa ance ta
fito da miji shi kuma saurayi yana
lissafin sai nan da shekara
biyar zaiyi aure, kunga kenan idan
baku tattauna ba baza k u gane hakan
ba
3 Idan aka samu dacewa masoyan
biyu suka yarda zasu auri juna kuma
suka yarda akan lokacin da zasu yi
auren to sai a gaggauta shigo da
manya cikin maganar, wannan zaisa
kowa yasan cewa abinda gaske ne
kuma hankalin kowa ya kwanta,
kama daga su masoyan, iyayensu da
duk sauran ‘yan uwa da abokan arziki.
Duk saurayin da kika ce ya turo manya
ya kama yi miki hanya-hanya to ki sani
cewa akwai matsala a tare dashi.
4 A lokacin da kuka riga kuka tsayar
da wanda zaku aura to ku daina kula
sauran samari, duk wanda
yazo kuce masa kuna da mijin aure,
karku sake kuyi tunanin
zaku iya samun wanda yafi na farko,
domin kuwa ko mutumin da
yafi kowa zama salihi ne yazo dalilin
yaudarar wancan da kuka yi sai Allah
ya debe albarkar abin koda anyi auren
da sabon sai kuga ana ta samun
matsala, babu wanda zai auri wani sai
wanda Allah SWT ya rubuta a cikin
Lauhil-Mahfuuz
2. Matsala ta biyu da mu samari
muke da ita wacce muka yi
tarayya da mata a ciki shine ruwan
ido. Duk da dai namu ruwan idon
yana da bambanci dana mata; su
mata saboda saurayin ne zaizo yace
yana so to ruwan idon nasu zasu jira
nehar sai wani yazo, amma mu
maza da yake mu muke zuwa
muce muna so to duk macen da
muka ce tayi mana to fa hakanne.
Yadda maza muke namu ruwan idon
shine a lokacin da muka hadu da
wata wacce ko dai take da wasu
abubuwa na halitta da tafi na baya ko
kuma wacce tafi iya kisisina,
rangwada, yanga da iyayi; to nan da
nan sai kuga ta qwace saurayin
3. YAUDARA: Akwai tambayarda
take
yawo sosai a bangaren soyayya,
wacce in dai za’a zauna
maganar soyayya to da wuya a gamata
ba tare da anyi wannan tambayar ba,
tambayar kuwa itace
A TSAKANIN MAZA DA MATA
WA YAFI YAUDARA?
Duk da dai kowa yana iya qoqarinshi
wajen ganin ya bayar da amsar
wannan tambayar tare da hujjojinshi;
amma ya kamata mu gane cewa dalilan
da yake sa maza yaudara sun
bambanta
da na mata! Kamar yadda muka fada
a baya cewa yawancin dalilan da suke
sa mata yaudare basu wuce saboda
abin duniya ba, su kuwa maza bayan
kyau da tsarin siffar mace da
yakan sa su canja budurwa; wani
babban abinda yake sa maza
yaudara shine SHA’AWA!!!
Kasancewar sha’awar namiji tafi ta
mace nesa ba kusa ba yasa yawancin
maza basa gane
banbancin SO da SHA’AWA. Bincike
ya nuna cewa mafi yawancin lokutan
da namiji zai kalli
mace sai sha’awarsa ta
motsa, hakan yasa wani lokaci sai
namiji ya nutsa cikin kogin soyayyar
mace amma bazai gane so ne
ko sha’awa ba har sai
zuwa ranar da ya santa ‘ya mace. Idan
akayi rashin sa’a ya santa ‘ya mace
kafin aure to a irin haka ne tunda
dama sha’awace amma bai gane ba sai
kawai yaji ta fita daga ranshi
tunda ya riga ya biyar buqatarsa da
ita, hakan yasa nake bawa
mata shawara a kullum cewa duk irin
soyayyar da zasu yi da
namiji kar su sake su bawa namiji
kansu; saboda bayan sabon
Allah SWT da suka yi da rage kima da
darajarsu a idon
saurayin to kuma akwai yiwuwar
saurayin zai gudu ya barki
tunda ya dandana romonki!!! Idan
kuma ya zamo shi wannan
saurayi mai yi miki son sha’awa ya
sai bayan ya aureki ne ya
sanki ‘ya mace, to anan ma mace
takan fita daga ran namiji tunda dai
sha’awarce dama ta ja shi, a
irin haka ne zaku ga
kulawar da namiji yake bawa mace ta
ragu, sai dinga cewa ko
ya daina sonta ne? SHAWARA:
Shawara ta ga maza anan itace ya
kamata mu gane cewa
DA HANKALI AKE ZABEN MATAR
AURE BA DA ZUCIYA BA
abinda hakan yake nufi shine karka
biyewa macen da kaji kana sonta ba
tare da kasan dalilin da yasa kake
sonta ba, kamata yayi ka zauna kayi
tunani ina son mace mai addini,
mai kama kai, mai tarbiyya, mai zuwa
M Islamiyya, mai iy a karatun Qur’ani,
to idan ya zama cewa dan haka ka
zabe ta a matsayin mata to kulluma ka
kalleta zaka ga cewa wadannan
abubuwan fa sunana, ko sau dubu
zaka kwanta da ita baza ka
iya goge mata wadannan dabi’u masu
nagarta nata ba. Amma
idan ya zama cewa haka kawai kaji
kana sonta babu dalili to
lallai kyawunta da tsarin jikinta ne
yake burgeka, wato dai sha’awace, ta
hakanne da anyi auren bayan kamar
wata daya ka gama saninta waje da
baya sai kuma kaga ai bata da wani
abu da ya rage da yake burgeka,